dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
