You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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