In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
