gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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