You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
