I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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