The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
