that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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