I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
