i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
there is puke in my bra ... again
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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