they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize