So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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