Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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