So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
