Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
