ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
