My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
