apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
