Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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