Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize