Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
where are you?
Hypothermia
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
