your thong is hanging out like whoa
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
