pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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