Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
