Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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