Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize