genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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