playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
