I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
where are my eyebrows?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
