If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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