how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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