She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
