it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
