quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so let's talk penis.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My vagina is very pro this idea
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