If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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