Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
