What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
