We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
