summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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