Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize