i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So. Much. Porn.
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