At least make sure they are 18
Why
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
