i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
