so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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