You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize