Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
