There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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