if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
