She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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