I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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