When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
