is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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