White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize