Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
