i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
