I can feel you judging me through the phone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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