Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
