The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
