I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
