carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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